as everyone knows, i really dont like my job right now and it’s been giving me a lot of trouble. but i think i am going to try to find a happy medium of IDGAF. It’s wednesday already so I’ll just try to cruise through the rest of the week because so many great things are happening on Saturday for me!

I’ve been writing a lot at work, at least an hour each day, 4 or 5 hand written pages. Here’s a sample page of shitty writing to show you….

I am also trying to think up a pen name but god so hard when you’re Asian. Any suggestions? I like the idea of having Alt as a last name. I don’t know why….

AH one day at a time, balance, it’s all about balance and…eating well and getting rid of unnecessary headaches in a reasonable manner.

edit: the new novel will be the ULTIMATE BILDUNGSROMAN

Iron Man 3 B+ I had a great time watching it even though it seemed like there were inconsistencies everywhere. RDJ is amazing as always and it was just a fun good time. I can rarely say anything really bad about super hero movies because I always have a good time watching them. If you want to watch something exciting and fun and children friendly, this is the one to go to! Even though there are a ton of people complaining on IMDB about this or that. But those people are always complaining.

The Great Gatsby C+ It was..alright, not as fantastic as I expected it to be. Compared to the Daisy in my head I felt like Carey Mulligan was mis-cast. I like her a LOT and she rocks short hair like no one else and she looked beautiful in the film but she lacks something for it. I liked the movie and the cinematic of it all but it felt lacking for me. It was a fun movie to watch but it would be equally good on the big TV at home.

I got wait-listed! *balloons immediately deflate*

I got the news yesterday morning via email. I was half asleep when I was reading it and it was barely 7 AM. I’ve never been wait-listed for anything in my life! That’s not to say that I am excellent in all areas and pass with flying colors rather it’s more like I’ve never been wait-listed because I usually just get rejected.

The plot thickens.

Compared to last year, this is a stunning improvement over the flat out rejection from Columbia J-school. In hindsight I am extremely glad that I didn’t get in. It was a money-hemorrhaging program in a money-hemorrhaging school in a money-hemorrhaging city. As much as I love New York City, it’s just too expensive to live in… especially evident due to this tumblr cataloging the worst rooms for rent for unbelievable amounts of money.

I’m living too comfortably lately and the idea that I am doing something new or going somewhere new is exciting and encouraging but oh so scary. But because I’ve been wait-listed, I feel more calm, like there’s a intermission between flat out rejection and acceptance and the busy-ness that’s sure to follow.

Because I’ve been wait-listed it made me realize more that I do definitely want to go. Working in my office feels like I’m rotting a little bit, a few cells at a time and I’m slowly being chipped away while melting like a giant ice sculpture. It’s really funny because my supervisor keeps asking me what I want to do in the future, I’m sure she’d like me to stay forever and ever. But too bad, I have DREAMSSSSS and HOPESSSSS and a limit for working with abusive people

anyways, that’s exciting~ isn’t it?

now if only there was something worthy to stick these on to……

I started to write a new book! HAND WRITTEN MANUSCRIPT! I have never felt so good or confident about writing for a while now. Writing long hand can be tremendously boisterous towards one’s self esteem. If you type, you tend to read back more often and delete more often. But when you write by hand, it’s literally a laborious process, hence you’re easier on yourself and you tend to keep more. That’s all I’m going to say about it for now. If I talk too much about it, I’ll hype myself up in my own head, and it’ll be a bad thing.

I haven’t been job hunting even though I scroll through my RSS feed and daily emailed job listings every day. I can’t seem to bring myself to apply for anything even though I desperately want need to.

At work lately I’ve been having a meeting every friday, almost. All I do is talk about BS and what I’m unsatisfied with. I don’t like these meetings mind you, but I suggest it to my supervisor because if I don’t I’ll get stepped on the next week. The best defense is offense right?

I also find it pretty ridiculous that I have to talk for 45 minutes just to see if I can get a “normal” lunch time (i.e. not at 2 or 3 PM )

Every little thing I have to fight for, reasonable lunch hours, full time hours. Even during my last meeting my supervisor told me that I have to get ready for winter, as in, we’re going to significantly cut your hours because too freaking bad. Nepotism is too obviously visible where I work.

But since I’ve let go of the entire situation, as in, IDGA F what you think, I’m going to eat on time, I’m going to do things for myself and not for anyone else.

I’ve felt a loooottt better.

But it’s still a horrible place to work.

TO THE JOB SEARCH MOBILE!

Here are some that i’m eternally lusting after

by Acne. I think they made so many different leather jackets and i want them all. There’s one with this ridiculous shearling collar and i’m like no but im sure it’s removable.

this balenciaga perfecto that alexa wears around town. I’ve pretty much never seen another photo of this jacket that’s not on her. Weird huh? but rep that pebbled leather!!! I personally hate the belt that comes with the jackets but this one seems rigid enough that it’ll work

LAST BUT NOT LEAST!

SCHOTT NYC’s LAMBSKIN PERFECTO FOR LADIES! this is my next jacket. reasonably priced with punk legacy, what could be better … take me there now….

and then tears spilled

the only way for a US billing address to order is to call through the phone…. which is a pain in the ass and I have to tell them my nike ID tags over the phone. So the left one will be Hot the right one will be Sauce..okay okay…it’s so difficult to describe nike ID over the phone! I actually contemplated ordering over the phone but I thought about all the hoop jumping and I remember that I am a pretty loyal consumer and why should I do that? I even have the previous nike x nylon release

(btw these ones are the ones that I was going to get. Size 6 womens thanks)

I wasn’t going to blog about it and remind myself for years to come of the poor and unfortunate events that took place..but a new nike ID release just came out w/ Liberty of London and I’m just going to post some pics from the hypebeast website here and then I’ll leave quietly and feel grateful (I guess?) that I won’t be shedding too much money because of Nike.

if you’re lucky enough to live in the US you can order ‘em here & more pics here

damn the weather is fine.
it’s shorts season and skirts season! and sandal season!

i love this jump suit but it’s really hard to go to the bathroom in..
also
is it finally ice coffee time yet? YES

(click here to see if it’s ice coffee weather in your area)

going to see Iron Man 3 tonight! already bought the tickets online! hopefully the line to get in won’t be too bad.

i feel pretty good lately mostly because it’s summer time! YES! finally! but i still jolt awake at night sometimes waiting for ad school applications. Mostly the inevitable what am i going to do if I don’t get in..but let’s not let that ruin our day now.

everyone have an amazing sunday

the subject this year’s MET gala is punk. So GQ did this cute slide show of 11 essentials of punk. I’m eyeing that Schott leather (designed exclusively for Mr. Porter, note the slimmer lines) like mad. I know the regular Schott leather jackets are nowhere as slim, which always makes me confused because they can easily sell more leather jackets if they are more updated with slimmer silhouette and same goes for girls too. But maybe jawnz-copping early 20 year olds aren’t their priority? IDK. I’ll only buy one if I can try it on….. anyawys.

I really love these uniqlo tartan stretchy pants that I’ve got for like $20 a while back. And I love my studded converse even more. Of course I am wearing these at my local IKEA eating rice and chili and nowhere near a stage and definitely not rebelling.

It’s probably too late for me to rock out and rebel but I’ll enjoy my tartan clothing and vivienne westwood.

(no point to this post I just wanted to post this image)