i’m at work
i’m always blogging at work so I don’t waste my precious off-time.
Or rather i’d want to be paid for doing all the internet things i am doing anyway
I started to write a new book! HAND WRITTEN MANUSCRIPT! I have never felt so good or confident about writing for a while now. Writing long hand can be tremendously boisterous towards one’s self esteem. If you type, you tend to read back more often and delete more often. But when you write by hand, it’s literally a laborious process, hence you’re easier on yourself and you tend to keep more. That’s all I’m going to say about it for now. If I talk too much about it, I’ll hype myself up in my own head, and it’ll be a bad thing.
I haven’t been job hunting even though I scroll through my RSS feed and daily emailed job listings every day. I can’t seem to bring myself to apply for anything even though I desperately
want need to.
At work lately I’ve been having a meeting every friday, almost. All I do is talk about BS and what I’m unsatisfied with. I don’t like these meetings mind you, but I suggest it to my supervisor because if I don’t I’ll get stepped on the next week. The best defense is offense right?
I also find it pretty ridiculous that I have to talk for 45 minutes just to see if I can get a “normal” lunch time (i.e. not at 2 or 3 PM )
Every little thing I have to fight for, reasonable lunch hours, full time hours. Even during my last meeting my supervisor told me that I have to get ready for winter, as in, we’re going to significantly cut your hours because too freaking bad. Nepotism is too obviously visible where I work.
But since I’ve let go of the entire situation, as in, IDGA F what you think, I’m going to eat on time, I’m going to do things for myself and not for anyone else.
I’ve felt a loooottt better.
But it’s still a horrible place to work.
TO THE JOB SEARCH MOBILE!
i lurve this outfit.
Everything about this outfit is the epitome of ME. These UNIQLO Ultra stretch jeans are some of the most comfy / cheap / good quality jeans that I've come across. The Gap kids t-shirt is a tribute to the fact that I even scavenge through children's sections and the tartan is my cry out for more vivienne westwood in my life (also more punk in my life). The Iron Maiden t-shirt is my obsession with wanting to be more metal but never getting there (also a gift from my cool boyfriend who likes metal, understands metal way more than me) and the doc martens is the first of many future online purchases.
I wore it walking around the mall after stuffing my face with sushi the other night. It’s still pretty chilly at night but I’m grateful that I get the chance to wear my new sandals around. They hurt, quite a bit, still sock and sandal time for a while.
I’ve been having a hard time at work lately and my mom kept reminding me to smile LOTS at work in case I get poisoned. Recently there’s been a story in China about a university student getting poisoned (and thus KILLED) by her dorm mates. Apparently the girl that got poisoned was really good at everything and too proud of herself hence her dorm mates found her difficult and decide to poison her. She said my face is one of those automatic bitch faces and that I don’t smile enough hence giving off negative vibes~~ It’s not true but sometimes I just want to do my work well and I don’t really notice the people around me. I probably could be more talkative at work but sometimes I just don’t have anything to say.
I’ve been thinking about my life a lot as a whole and I’m not happy with where it’s going. I keep asking myself whether I am really trying hard enough whether I am doing enough to ensure that I am living the best that I am. To be honest, I can’t answer that because I would end up regretting a lot more than I would let on. If I could I would probably try to start over, my whole life that is. But If I am allowed the knowledge that I know now wouldn’t it be considered cheating? Even if I was allowed to live all over again I’d probably end up making the same mistakes and end up exactly where I am now.
But still whenever I think about the supposedly bad things that are going on in my life I try hard to look on the bright side. Looking on the bright side seems pretty lame but lately it’s all I’ve got. I think maybe it’s time for me to buy something online so that I could wait for it to be shipped, getting a package in the mail always heightens interest in life. You can call me materialistic or whatever but it is what it is. I like it, and that’s fine to me.
Follow me on instagram y’all
haha anxiety cat is very funny but i doubt any of us actually want to be in a panic- stricken state.
Lately i’m feeling extremely anxious because of all the garbage that are my thoughts. A few things have began to unravel themselves before me, things being various opportunities that could help me make my life better.
That’s definitely a good thing right? I’d think so .. but I’m still feeling bad about everything.
I was presented with a chance to interview at a better institution. A new job could mean a lot more things, more opportunities, more people, more NEW.. A job interview is a good thing, but the timing is too inconvenient as I am currently waiting for results on my grad school. Because one good thing happened, I’m scared it will take away from the other good thing. And ultimately what do i want to do?
Does having a new job mean that I can’t go away to school? Because it gave me this chance to level up in job-mode hence it’ll keep me at the same level for school? I want to go to school the most but the transcripts still having not arrived makes everything weary.
Of course, nothing has happened and this is all in my head. but I can’t help but feel this way.
I want to relax and feel comfortable with my life but the fear of constantly falling behind is what’s driving all this change. I need more, want more, not because i’m an overzealous or ambitious person but because I’m afraid of being a lesser individual. Which ultimately makes no sense because who you are and what you do is only relevant to yourself and not to anyone else. I’ve been working hard to hide it all but it’s scarcely goes away.
I guess for the time being I feel fine and everything is dandy. I’ll take on things as it goes… I’ll make the decisions that will feel right for me at the time. Even if I have to look back on it with regret…
right now is the most important.
the dreaded job search started again!
AT the moment I work in a logistics company and the winter seasons means endless hours on Tumblr and my eyes bleeding from trying to read ebooks on the computer. Although it may seem like an ideal position but it’s really not. I only work 5 hours a day and most of the time it’s less than that. I don’t need money because I live at home and don’t spend all that much. So given what I earn it’s plenty to get me by.
BUT I feel like it’s wearing away my life. so i’m applying for jobs again!
I’m hoping to score any position at the university (THE UNIVERSITY HAS GOOD FOOD!) or some sort of larger organization that is close to places where I can buy lunch.
But ideally I’d like to work in an advertising agency or with a marketing department of any organization. But that’s really unlikely right now given the fact that I don’t have the necessary degree or experience.
I made a mini portfolio consisted of FOUR (just four..) ads that I made and am contemplating whether I should be sending it off to a junior copywriter position.
I think I will, it never hurts to try right?
Technically, the position that I am in is a maternity leave position. The person that was at my position previously will be returning in March. There weren’t even enough desks to go around! so they are moving a few to be able to sit everyone. The whole time while the desks were being moved and new cubicle walls rose from the ground I wondered just how much longer I’ll work here. I wonder if they’ll get really mad at me even with a two weeks notice if after all the effort they went to to reorganize the desks.
It makes me slightly depressed when I’m applying for jobs these days as I find there are more and more intern positions than paid positions. I think I won’t mind interning somewhere if I was seriously interested in the field rather than to gain any random experience. A lot of places ask you to work for 3 months for full time for no pay whatsoever. Given the expenses that one would rack up just trying to get to these places ( + lunch) they all seem really unreasonable. Especially if the company isn’t extremely reputable or cool. Of course it would mean a lot more to intern at say, Vogue than some random media company.
I’m not complaining about the unpaid internships but rather that too many companies are using them as ways to gain free labor.
And there are those entry level jobs with expectations of THREE YEAR WORK EXPERIENCE, like, what?
Whatever, it’ll be fine.
In more positive news I’m going to portland for the weekend! I’ll be taking the train and I’ve never taken the train in canada (to the US or to anywhere). In china, trains are a very average form of transportation before the onslaught of mass buying of family vehicles. I’ve taken the really old, slow but reliable green trains and I’ve taken the super high speed but caused an accident and lots of people died trains and now I fly in China. Not saying that the super high speed trains are especially dangerous, but for the price, I might as well fly.
edit: my manager just looked at me and said, how about one? leave at one okay? (…. x___x )
you could potentially wake up one day, after many years of success, and find yourself without any sort of inspiration for your next project.
THAT IS VERY SCARY.
I read a few books on advertising and it was pointed out to me that you are basically basing your entire future endeavors and careers on something that requires INSPIRATION
Something that comes and goes as it would like.
Sometimes that may be true, but i think inspiration is something that only appears when you’ve done the right amount of research, the right amount of head-banging against the wall, only then will you come up with something that you’d think is fantastic then subsequently rejected by the client, yay!
Even though I really want to be a novelist (writer, the stereotypical kind), writing is a lot of alone time, too much alone time i think. I am not good at forcing myself to do things, even though I want to write and I take notes with small bursts of inspiration, I never incorporate them into any sort of substantial thing.
I said that I would be re-working my second novel but I haven’t touched it since I left New York. I am telling myself that I am allowing something to build up when it’s really just procrastination and a few very good distractions.
I think I was inspired a long time ago and now I don’t have the necessary components to finish off what I started, which is a bummer too, even worse than not having inspiration.
It kind of pisses me off that these are the things that require me to work diligently for a very long time. It means that I have to work after work, I am writing after work, I am writing during work, I am thinking all the time. A lot of the times I just want to go home and veg out in front of the computer or TV for five hours at a time. But I can’t, because I want to be a writer. It’s a worthy sacrifice if something substantial comes out of it, what if it doesn’t?
Well it’s one of those things that you just gotta try ….
I’ll start writing as soon as I finish my GRE exam prep, oh yeah, that’s going on too…
I guess life is all about finding the things worth doing…. and writing is definitely worth doing, AS IS MAKING GREAT ADVERTISING!
I HOPE I can get into ad school next year, I ReaLLY WANT TO GO!
so i started my job at ikea
i didn’t tell any of my friends because well..there’s nothing to tell! After looking for a job for so long somehow i still ended up somewhere like here. not saying that working there is bad but i just need a lot more money very soon.
i think they pay quite well if you’ve been there for a long time, but for starting wage it’s pretty bad (still above minimum wage though).
but other benefits being..you get to wear jeans, so that’s awesome…but i do have to find some work boots that are work safe!!!! i didn’t have any so i just went in very very rough looking converse they asked me if they were work safe and i couldn’t lie lol. they lend me some for now but i’ll buy some on the weekend. i don’t know how long i’ll be there but the work boots actually kind of badass so…
i wanted to get doc marten ones but i couldn’t tell if they actually have the safety labels or not. i especially like these ones. but they don’t make such small sizes for women. another thing is that the boots are super heavy! they are also slip-resistant and what not and it might be useful in the winter time too.
food is super good there, though i haven’t had a staff meal yet. my shifts are too short for a full meal. staff has very cheap and very good food that’s different from their restaurant. so that’s a huge plus.
i guess i’ll work hard and try to get another job (part time) or a full time job somewhere. （●＾□＾●）
edit: i wanted to tell you guys the name of the app that i use to decorate photos (on an android device). the app is freeeeee~! and it’s called PhotoWonder. It’s like a mini photo shop with purikura decors on your phone. It pulls directly from your gallery of camera photos and once in a while the app makers update the vault of decor and frames andd you are able to download them if you choose.
sorry i can’t take a screen cap for you. im running an older version of android..idk, froyo? possibly gingerbread ..or possibly older.