what i really want to be is

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it’s very respectable to use your brain everyday for your work but come on, we all want to be beautiful. I am not even that keen on the beauty part, i just want to be very tall and very skinny. The face evolves with the person, so the beauty within really shines through…but the height!!!!

I wish I were a few inches taller….

my birthday is coming up!
My prof recently told me that i look better, and that I am still young enough for changes to show after a summer. That made me sad for some reason…

The changes that I see in myself are reflected clearly in the way that I celebrate my birthday.

I used to want it to be a huge deal for everyone around me, as in, please give me attention…. but now things are different, it’s not exactly reflective but I think about what I can do for myself.
How can I be happier day to day?
What changes do I have to make in myself?

Things like that, then I order some crap off amazon for myself. haha…

I really wanted to blog about & Other Stories ‘s collection of handbags… because I think the price and range are within my grasp..

but then I think about it, it’s by H&M and having had experience with brands at this level, how good can it be?

I heard that the quality is disappointing…
photoshop, lighting, good models, and a steamer is all you need these days to make anything look high quality and expensive…

Internet is great, but sometimes you have to go to a real store to shop.

for yourself

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SAY NO.

:crawl:

Even though i don’t act like it, i’m a pushover. Especially in projects.

NO MORE.

I will say no when it’s appropriate.
saying yes is easy

People expect you to say yes.
People expect you to be weak.

Well, no more.

the kingdom of madness and dreams

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I finally got around to watching the Studio Ghibli documentary…

If you’re unfamiliar Studio Ghibli, I’ll assume that you’re an alien…

A few weeks? (months?, time is lacking linearity for me lately) ago I saw a tweet stating that Hayao Miyazaki is going to retire after his latest feature, The Wind rises. And everyone cried out in despair, then our real lives took over….

I didn’t grow up with Ghibli but I discovered it by when I was a bit older (age 11?).. when I was learning English, the only thing I did was go to the library and take out animations on VHS, I’ve seen most of the Disney and of course, there were numerous Ghibli films in VHS as well, I believe Kiki’s Delivery Service was my first foray into Miyazaki’s work.

Then I grew a bit older so I watched everything in original Japanese with subtitles again. Because, you should always see stuff subbed, not dubbed.

This documentary is very beautiful, heartwarming, and be prepared to ugly-cry.

One thing that I noticed about all of Ghibli’s work is that, sometimes, it doesn’t have the best effects, animation or story telling. But there’s so much heart that it ties all of those components together smoothly.

what I mean by that is that..unlike other films, or animations, all of their work has no agenda. Besides the obvious agenda of making money, a lot of movies feel egotistical, hey look what I can do, hey look who I can get to score the movie, HEY LOOK AT ME, kind of feel.

But I never feel that with any of Ghibli’s work, and as Miyazaki himself said in the documentary, animation is organic.

Which gets me onto the long winded topic of intention vs passion, even though I hate that word (passion) I don’t know how else to express it. I’ve been having a lot of trouble creating lately. To be honest, I’m having a hard time in school right now (though I think I’ve never expressed anything otherwise) and it has a lot to do with Intention vs passion (or let me see where this will go…). Should I just do what I want or should I make this project with the intention that it will be funny, or sad? Since I get to go here, that means I have enough skills, and judgment to see things one way or another but really how much skills do I really have?

That’s another topic…

I’m acting less with intention and more with “passion” belgh this word! :/ mostly because I’m not good at acting with intention, so I’ll just let myself be.

I am having a hard time with that still, mostly because even at my age, I have yet to recognize who I am, probably because that’s a life long process, and I’m having a hard time working with others, AGAIN! OF COURSE, typical egotistical, yet useless copywriter….

We’re useful, I promise! :wink:

but really, avoid people that are too modest, that’s just strange. anyway who’s good should be arrogant, even if a little bit…

Back to the film, agendas…and organic animation. Disney, Disney’s animation is no longer organic, then again everything’s in CG or 3D so it isn’t really animation anymore… (but I’m still very much looking forward to Big Hero 6 ^_^ )

Anyways, definitely worth the watch….

Cameo by Hideaki Anno, Miyazaki bullies him, it’s fun.

And MAYBE, if you’re like me, you’ll think a lot about your work and life..and make some changes to your blog name, and color..like I did.

I also made a monumental decision ( :relaxed: ) of working at home more… as in I’ll waste time at my own desk than at school……. nobody cares I know. But when I’m at school, I’m just waiting to be bothered so I can go play.

I also re-arranged my desk! During the week, my desk is really messy because it’s a flat surface that you can dump paper at, but I’m actually very meticulous as in I need a clean space to work on but that’s euphemism for procrastination, let me clean my desk before I can do this stupid work that’ll probably last 20 minutes….

BUT! my main influence to clean my desk, is from my talk with my friend yesterday about writing long form more, we both agreed that advertising is killing us, and no matter how much they eventually will pay us (which isn’t very much I assume) it’s not worth dying like this.

Oh yeah, here’s the new arrangement on my desk.

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I put my laptop on the Minnie Mouse writing pad (??) so that it can slide easily across the desk without making damage to the laptop…that makes me sound really smart and prepared when really I didn’t want to leave pen marks on the white table mark because it’ll drive me crazy.

I also have the usual crap, pens, tea, post-its, lamp, I also have a Yoshimoto Nara book called Lullaby Supermarket published by a German gallery, though they got his name wrong on the cover (? I hope it’s not pirated…but I doubt it, who would pirate this).

As well as my chinese pharmacy, tiger balm, and digestion pills…

Anyways, I made good progress today, as well as yesterday, on my life’s journey of self-discovery.

Time to do some lame to balance out the coolness I’ve been feeling, like making steak!

Frances Ha

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Upon a friend’s recommendation, I watched this last night.
Starring Greta Gerwig, it follows the story of a girl named Frances and her life as she breaks up with her best friend and is forced to find new housing in the cruel city that is new york.

It is a film that most young women in their early, mid, late 20s can relate to. Or even later, yes older women too.

I found Frances to be so likable even though I don’t think I would enjoy being her friend in real life, I have too high of expectations in people and it’s exhausting to be me :rain:

Anyways, watch it, you’ll be braver because of it.

40 day challenge

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today i went to the VMFA with my friend because we ran out of things to do at school as in we didn’t want to do work when work is purely exhausting and not fun and really we weren’t writing that much in fact we’ve been writing so little…

but we found this space at the VMFA that was amazing…

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it was just a room that appeared to not have a function, it was awkward, and it had three buddhist statues behind glasses and four replica designer chairs…

and that view.

and those two lights.

and a perfectly positioned oak tree (not pictured).

So we just sat and talked.

She told me that her friend had sent her a 40 day challenge. 40 Days to not complain, to not whine, to not cry, to not be depressed. Every time that you wanted to complain, you would consciously stop yourself and choose to think of a positive thing related to the thing that you were going to complain about.

I’m going to try it too.

Cause, else who knows what’s going to happen?

briefly you forget how fleeting time is

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…because you’re mad at someone or you’re waiting for a project to end or… you’re having allergies.

Even though it’s not finalized, I am pretty sure I’ll get to go back to Vancouver for break! And of course the next logical thing to do is to count down to that day in my calendar… And I can’t believe it! there’s only 64 full days until I get to fly home!!!

SIXTY FOUR DAYS until third semester is over!

Fingers crossed that I make it to fourth semester. Fingers crossed guys, toes crossed too.

I can’t believe how fast everything is going. I am sure there are a million more things to do until I get to graduate, until I get to show recruiters how charming I am and skipping the junior positions and get to be a creative director right away JK, i’m opening my own agency, JK i have no money.

JK, I just want to sleep and eat sushi forever.

But SIXTY FOUR DAYS! That’s actually insane.

It felt just like yesterday when I was crying every three hours knowing that I’ll have to move to Virginia, and leaving everything behind, felt just like yesterday that I slept on a weird Wal-mart “sofa” before I bought a bed, felt just like yesterday that I was in my first 12 hour BoB meeting…felt just like yesterday…

and now it’s all coming to a close, in 7 months?

way too fast

I complain everyday about Virginia, about this school, about the people, but I don’t regret a thing.



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