CRABBY

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Crabby from Tsingtao* on Vimeo.

My friend and I made this for a contest or two. Okay, cool, prototype coming soon.

*not really affiliated with Tsingtao

wordprssss soon singularity

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have you guys been receiving emails saying that wordpress is updating itself? when did it gain the diplomacy to do that? I don’t like to update sometimes because it messes with the ancient themes that I’m using…

WordPress will soon no longer need us to write the posts…
or comments
or anything

Well Singularity.

Summer plans are made! I am going to R/GA NYC for the summer from May 10 to July 20. Please follow my instagram and twitter to fully experience my speeches about what a bitch it is to commute from Flushing to Times Square everyday.

Nevertheless, I am really excited.

EXCITEMENT!

Please share some places to eat. I bet i’ll be dead every day from the commute and general nervousness at work, hoping not to fuck up and get fired.

I found one good thing about richmond virginia, their summers start really really early. FUCK YEAH. It’s like 28 degrees C outside.

okay, time to, work.

a good phrase I saw on a uniqlo tshirt …

WHEN IN DOUBT, THROW IT OUT

I just think that’s so true.

so sensitive

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i don’t know if this is true for everyone. but my body goes crazy now when it tries to come in contact with ice coffee. i don’t even try to drink the hot version, i attempt the iced version in the summer time usually with hazelnut but i’ve been feeling really poor so i save myself 35 cents…

school is okay and nuts at the same time.
i think my muscles are wilting despite the fact that i live on a third floor walk up.

i think caffeine and i don’t play well, im shaking a bit even though i only had two sips.

but i can drink SO much coke. what is up with that.

the summer is really great here in the barely south. it was 28 degrees on Friday!! Or like 80s? I don’t know the fahrenheit equivalent.
I STILL don’t know the fahrenheit equivalent.

internships .. hmm

i got one! then another one! the second one has its obvious advantages but it’s unpaid. The first one IS paid but it’s in new york city. The second one is at home, as in Vancouver.

The obvious choice given how stressed I am is to take the Vancouver one.

The agencies are both very good agencies. After my interview with the NYC agency, I really really wanted to go there because I really like the managing director. He liked this one thing that I wrote that I thought no one would like, so that’s so nice to be understood in that manner. The second offer felt like a favor to my professor.

But when it winds down to it, it’s how much more stress can I take. How much hair can I risk falling out?

Do I want smothering smelly New York heat or do I want calm and pleasant rare Vancouver sunny days?

Nevermind the worries, I need to do work.

i wear sunglasses all the time now

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i wonder if people can smell it on you.

the lack of talent.

the lack of confidence.

i wonder if they can sense it through your emails, your incoherent emails that say nothing but a bumbling plead for mercy.

Then you ask yourself, am i just in a rut, or am i unlucky, or am i just really really untalented.

You keep telling yourself that it means nothing because really it means nothing.

But nothing keeps on happening, and it keeps hurting, when it was supposed to mean nothing at all.

Unpleasant.

So unpleasant.

But all in all, it leads to the question of whether you are just a bad person. and all the bad stuff that you’ve done lead up to this point, it’s exploding in your face. All of it. All of the bad things you’ve done, you’ve said, it’s leading up to this point.

They only want good people and nice people.

Then you look again, no that wasn’t it.

it was the lack of talent.

cosplay music video

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i spent a good chunk of this morning watching these from the youtuber user SneakyZebra and then listening to a lot of spice girls

it’s not that i’m obsessed with myself (a little bit) but wow look at how much fun they are having! I bet this video was so fun to make. I’ve made somemmme videos, or at least I was present for the shooting and production of it, so I know how painful it is to edit sometimes.

These are so beautifully edited!

I really miss having fun while working/writing.

Too much competition, too much greed, too much ego..

and to quote Salinger from Zooey and Franny

“All I know is I’m losing my mind,” Franny said. “I’m just sick of ego, ego, ego. My own and everybody else’s. I’m sick of everybody that wants to get somewhere, do something distinguished and all, be somebody interesting. It’s disgusting – it is, it is. I don’t care what anybody says.”

I miss myself..and when it wasn’t this hard, and so much insecurity, so much unhappiness.

kool-aid

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i’ve hit a creativity all time low

question: what is a creativity
what is all-time
what is low

a few changes i’ve noticed in myself that i dislike

-became too serious about advertising
-trying too hard to be “good”
-using my brain too much
- trying too hard to “write” (i’ve always known that i’m not that good at writing, but i always manage to get by)
-ADHD
-competition
-comparing myself to other people
- passive aggression
- again, comparing myself to other people
- hating myself
- unenthusiastic
-hating everything i do
-trying to imitate other people

WHAT IS GOOD?

a few changes i’ve noticed in myself that i like

- drinking ginger ale more than coke
- more fiscally responsible
- trying to eat at home more
- okay with being hungry once in a while
- less alcohol
- smaller alcoholic tolerance (im gonna build it back up once i get a job)
- kind of bored of my restaurant game

things that have remained the same

- still no urge to do drugs to make myself better



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